letters to pain

 

Lady Pain, Gentleman Pain

Welcome to my heart

Oh you are not welcome

That was not a greeting of joy

Nor was it a greeting for your children

I remember you invited me for dinner

Once with them:

Sorrow, sadness and sickness

Those were their names

 

Lady Pain, Gentleman Pain

You knocked on my door

And I let you come in

And your children were with you

Nooooo , i just remembered the

Deafening cries

Oh, I remember the shrills

Oh, I remember the shrieks

Oh, I remember the screams

Of me.

 

You knocked on my door

And I let you come in

And your children were with you

Yessss, I just remembered the

Loud laughs

I remember they were for me

I remember they never seemed to end:

From you

To me.

 

I thought you left me

Alone

Like I wanted

But you’re crawling

You’re walking

You’re running

Towards me

 

I remember when you

Told us you were pregnant

For the third time

‘I am sick at heart’

That is what I told myself

Please leave me alone

 

I thought you left me

Like I wanted

But you’re crawling

You’re walking

You’re running

Towards me

 

Please go.

 

You ran away

Once

When I (the pottery)

Talked to the potter

 

But you’ve come

With packs of Kleenex

And memories I prayed

Died

So what do you want

From me?

Is it the tears that your

First child gave me?

Is it the sadness you

brought in the form of your Second?

Is it the malaria your

Third child gave me?

 

Leave me alone

Please.

I am as fragile as the stickers on parcels

I am as delicate as the eggs put in one basket

I am as sensitive as the mercury placed on

Every nurse’s desk in your daddy’s hospitals

 

 

You ran away

Once

When I (the pottery)

Talked to the potter

But are here again

With rose pocket tissues

And you have clicked the rewind

Button of my mental music player

 

So get away Pain.

Leave me alone

I do not want to hear:

Your knocks on my door

Your children’s voices

You call my name

 

I was introduced

 to you

before I was conceived

it all began

when my mother

experienced the latent

stage

(oh no, I got it wrong)

It all began

In the form of cramps

Of course, you disguised

Yourself

But joy flowed like a river

When I was born

As I grew you looked

For me

But i resisted

I fought you

I knocked you

I pinched you

I punched you

I hit you

I slapped

Your faceless self

And you screamed in Agony

Yes, that was your language.

 

[lanaire]

 

 

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